50 Steps To Writing a Poem

1. Get born

2. Breath some air

3. Once they give you a crayon, start drawing on everything

4. When they take your crayons away, make shapes with your peas and carrots or whatever

5. Laugh at everything

6. Stare at the sun

7. go underwater with your eyes open

8. listen to the dog’s heart for hours

9. listen to the cat’s heart for a split
second before it runs away

10. learn some of the alphabet

11. notice that things don’t always float

12. ride a BMX or something through weird trails.

13. learn a few numbers

14. when they mention the moon, remember that it is a) made of cheese, b) somewhere we never went

15. don’t get a haircut

16. get in a fist fight on the school bus with whoever will have you

17. fall out of a tree and break something.

18. kiss other humans

19. learn the rest of the alphabet

20. drink some water

21. go to a funeral in a Hawaiian shirt if they’ll let you.

22. try to levitate. just try. you never know.

23. lose some teeth

24. get some new teeth

25. play music everywhere all the time underneath everything

26. dream about neon death without pain

27. eat fire for lunch

28. graduate grammar school

29. carve things into dead wood

30. spell out S.O.S. in chicken bones

31. rhyme everything with orange

32. watch Goonies again

33. read books about anything but books

34. spit off a watertower onto the high tension powerlines.

35. do a backflip off a tire swing into a silver lake

36. go to the prom with a cardboard cut out of yourself

37. don’t go to college yet

38. drive around aimlessly through America

39. yell into caves

40. find a nice graveyard and make sure your tombstone isn’t there

41. go to college

42. Look for drugs

43. If you can’t find any, start selling drugs there

44. Invest your drug money in a nice suit

45. Also get a notebook

46. And a pen

47. write a poem

48. do you like it?

49. ok, you made it, you made a poem.

50. You’re done. You win.

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