A Wedding, A War, A Necktie

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I put on my three piece suit
and stand in front of my mirror
practiced shooting my
own reflection, a 2 finger gun
I dodge fake bullets
till late afternoon
till it comes easy
an hour before the wedding
I try to learn how to tie
the blood red tie
but I can’t get it
so I slipped my pre-laced
neon sneakers on
I don’t own dress shoes
and rode my bike to church
the sun was hot
and this is why no one
before me
had tried to ride a bike
in a three piece suit
as I ride
the red neck tie
is granny-knotted
to the handle bars
and streaming in the August air
no dogs have the guts to chase
and I still have my gun
anyway
the bridesmaid
in the peach dress
helped me
with my tie
ducking into
a quiet room
possibly not holy
later, I learned
she had a brother named jay
who drove a jeep
over an IED
in one of those deserts
she had a picture
of him alive beside the bed
saw it on August 19th
I remember it well
a Tuesday
in her bedroom mirror I stood
naked, tie around my neck
my dick hard
in the reflection
I shot her dead
laying on her bed
we laughed
I was late for school
bunch of days after that.

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