When I Have Nothing to Write About

When I have nothing to write about I get in my car and drive around. I go to Chipotle and get a carnitas burrito salad and then I go over to the surf and skate store and I buy jeans off the clearance rack because it’s 86 degrees and when it’s 86 degrees you can get $70 jeans for $28. 

When I have nothing to write about I’m able to drink a lot more unsweetened ice tea than usual and I squeeze about six lemons in it. 

I do my non writing in the car parked behind the Chipotle and type on my iPhone with my thumbs. It may seem crazy to type something very long out with your thumbs but before we had iPhones we had to sit at a computer and that was lame and before that we had to use a manual typewriter and oh god that sounds like utter hell, especially if you make a mistake and before that it was papyrus and ink blot on a feather and damn damn before that it was carving what you had to say into the side of a hunk of stone with a chisel. So, typing on an iPhone doesn’t sound that crazy now. 

I don’t have an idea for a short story or a poem today and I’m not working on a novel. Instead I’m down here by the beach and I’m waiting for my wife and her sister to get done registering for a baby shower for the sister. 

If I had an opinion on anything, this would be an opinion piece. I don’t have any opinions. Maybe my only opinion is that I think it’s better when kids like me just shut the hell up for a while. Let anybody else yell about current events or world politics. 

I just went into a Chipotle and took a selfie in there because I thought the white tile looked cool, it reminded me of Dungeon 5 in the original Legend of Zelda game. So that’s what I’m up to in my life on this beautiful Saturday. Updating my facebook AVI, drinking unsweetened ice t, dressing like I’m a 16 year old skater punk and sitting in the air conditioning of my car which is finally paid off and now I feel like a millionaire because I don’t have to send $400 a month to Delaware. The $400 I can now spend on blue tinted crappy sunglasses, deodorant that smells like a tropical island and of course, fancy beer.


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